Over-thinking is My Kryptonite

Sat, Jan 22, 2011

I’ve just ironed some shirts and trousers, and laid a coat of Kiwi polish on my black pair of shoes. I will brush them tomorrow morning. It’s a tip from a great shoemaker: lay the polish coat on the leather shoes and let it lie there for one night before you brush it away. That is how you shine your shoes like a soldier.

I am fond of saying a true gentleman doesn’t feel properly dressed unless his shoes are freshly shined every morning. I love the ritual so much that I can’t help but do it very often.

So far, I’ve learned a lot about what makes me happy and what doesn’t. Polishing my shoes, ironing my own clothes rather than having someone else do it, and playing billiards with my close friends make me happy. Winning certainly makes me happier than losing, but losing still does if it is worth it.

However, I am extremely unhappy with a bad habit, over-thinking. It is my Kryptonite. When something happens unexpectedly, I spend plenty of time contemplating on and changing it; then things will get worse; at the end, I feel like a loser. I can’t think of anything else. This habit ruined many of my relationships.

Hi, my name is Anh Do, and I am an over-thinker.

Over-thinking is thinking too much, needlessly, passively, endlessly and excessively pondering the meaning, causes, and consequences of your character, your feelings and your problems. Many people believe when they feel down, they should focus inwardly and evaluate their feelings and situation to find self-insight and solutions that might ultimately resolve the issues and relieve unhappiness. Many studies, however, show that over-thinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences.

How I stop over-thinking:

• Distract, distract, distract. I’ll listen to my favorite Brian Culbertson album, go swimming or do whatever I find interesting.
• Set aside time to think about it later. If it matters in a year, find a solution. If not, just forget it. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
• Talk to a sympathetic and trusted person.

I have been doing this for more than 3 weeks, and my level of happiness improved. Nevertheless, sometimes I still fell in my own trap. Everything needs practice. For something related to one’s nature, it takes time and patience. I also need help from you. If you, my friends, find me over-thinking, please tap me on the shoulder or if you don’t mind, shout at me and hit me in the head. I will be thankful. You have my word.